Remember Scott Effross? Me Neither

Scott Effross? Oh, right—that guy! The one who’s technically a Yankee but spends more time in a rehab facility than on a mound. Well, strap in for another chapter of the never-ending saga of “Effross vs. His Own Body.” During Tuesday’s Grapefruit League game against the Twins, Effross managed to throw exactly one pitch before his hamstring decided, “Nah, I’m good,” per Greg Joyce of the New York Post.

Effross hobbled off the field with the trainer, adding yet another entry to his ever-expanding medical chart. At this point, he probably has a punch card at the Yankees’ training room—one more injury, and he gets a free ice bath.

To recap: Since being traded to the Yankees in August 2022, Effross has made a grand total of 16 appearances for New York. He missed all of 2023 recovering from Tommy John surgery, then barely saw the light of day in 2024 with just 32 appearances across the majors and minors, thanks to back surgery. His body breaks down more often than a used car with a “trust me” sticker on the windshield.

And, of course, Effross isn’t alone in the Yankees’ bullpen infirmary. As Empire Sports Media perfectly put it:

“With Scott Effross expected to battle for a bullpen spot, the Yankees are in a weird spot where the backend of their bullpen is going to be tested. Jake Cousins is expected to miss Opening Day against the Brewers as a result of a forearm strain, and JT Brubaker also got hurt during the Spring Training opener after a comebacker.”

Seriously, what’s going on in the Yankees’ clubhouse? Is there a cursed relic buried under Yankee Stadium? Are they hydrating with bad juju instead of water? Aaron Boone once told us all the physicals came back clean—well, either he’s got a different definition of “clean,” or the Yankees’ doctors are using a Magic 8-Ball for diagnostics.

Effross’s Yankees career has been a series of waiting games. We waited through 2023, hoping he’d come back strong. We waited in 2024, only to get three measly appearances in September. Now, here we are again, waiting for him to somehow hold it together for more than an inning.

At this point, Yankees fans might want to get ahead of the curve and invest in some bubble wrap stocks. It’s the only way to protect what’s left of their bullpen.